the 'big' letdown

I'm sure if you've been to college in the last 5 years, you've seen a sorority girl's AIM profile. It doesn't matter what sorority she's in, whether its social, business, co-ed, religious, whatever, there is always the requisite shoutout to her big. "I love my big" or "<3 Big" or some kind of declaration of affection. But do we really love our bigs? What do you do if you don't like your big...or even worse...your big doesn't like you?

When I joined my sorority we had to make a list about the 3rd or 4th week in we had to make a list of 5 or more girls we would like to have as our big sister. Sisters were matched up with pledges and left clues to new members during the always fun Big/Lil Clue Week. The next weekend, our Bigs were revealed to us through a scavenger hunt. Due to my ever-present bad luck, not suprisingly (well Ok I was a little surprised), my big was not only not someone on my list, but it was a girl I had never even seen before. I really felt the love. Life goes on...but whatever relationship my big "Emma" and I are supposed to have never developed. I'm not exactly the most outgoing person, and neither is she. She's religious and I've never been baptized. She doesn't really drink...and I've had my fair share. Consequently, we don't seem to have much to talk about...ever. So I go weeks at a time without seeing her, talking to her. Hell, I've only hung out with her once...because I had to, before initation.

At first it really sucked, when everyone seemed to get who they wanted, and clicked instantly, hanging out all the time. But things have started to detiorate for my friends & their bigs as well. My friend Margie's big depledged, and my other friend Cara is convinced that her big hates her. I recently found out that another girl in my pledge class had never met her big before revealing either.

So honestly, despite what AIM leads you to believe, bigs and littles as close as you might think. So why is it such a big deal in the first place?

at least it hasn't come to this...

All the sororities and fraternities in my school have some version of mandatory study hours. Study hours are especially important in organizations like mine where the average GPA is below 3.0 (yeah we're super smart). Naturally I bitched & moaned about such a procedure until I recently found out this one--some of the more prestigious (i.e. selective, bitchy, superficial, what have you) sororities on campus have mandatory workout hours. PUKE. Makes me glad my sorority has a good share of fatties.

it's not that I hate my sorority or anything...

...but sometimes it gets to be a little much.

I stumbled across the blogs of law school students today, and found myself absorbed in their experiences. I'm considering law school after I graduate, and really appreciated the insight these annonymous students provided. Then I realized, hell I could have my own blog...about being in a sorority. There's a lot about being in a sorority that your average prospective freshman...or nonaffilliated undergraduate...doesn't know, but maybe SHOULD KNOW if she ever considers joining one. I always thought it would be cool to write a book about all of this, in the vein of Pledged, but I don't really want to risk getting sued by sorority and losing all my friends. Even if I'm telling the truth (at least as I see it).

So in order to avoid any fallout among my sisters, here's what you can know. I'm in a chapter of a national sorority at a large state public school. My name, names of others, and the name of my sorority will be changed in here, and never revealed in there true forms. From here on out, my sorority shall be referred to as Theta Pi (because I didn't find such a sorority/frat on google or wikipedia).

so here goes nothing...